Secrets
by themis.ceres
Summary: Her secrets are out. Now what? Slightly AU
1. Out Line

Outline:

Pick me speech: Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.

Meredith starts dating Finn. Never have sex.

Meredith finds out she's pregnant

She tells Derek- she's keeping it no matter what- he calls her a whore

MEREDITH: "I never should have told you about George."  
DEREK: "No, its fine. I'm glad I know about him, and the vet. You really get around."  
MEREDITH: "What did you just say to me?"  
DEREK: "It's unforgivable."  
MEREDITH: "I don't remember ever asking you to forgive me."  
DEREK: "So, was the knitting a phase? Who's next? Alex? I hear he likes to sleep around too. You two have that in common.

Meredith: "You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done! All the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cares? I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore."

She gets a DNA test

Shows Derek.

Mark shows up and flirts with Meredith (five months preg)

Derek punches him and signs up the divorcee papers

Addison leaved with Mark

Turns out to be twins

Older: Boy: Jacob Philip Sheppard

Younger: Girl: Alida Green Sheppard


	2. Message to the Reader

Dear Readers,

So it turns out that instead of posting the work I had intended to be published I gave you all my out line. I am planning on taking it down and replacing it with the actual first chapter. I am thankful that your response was so warm and hope you will enjoy as much the actual first chapter.

Elizabeth


	3. Love Me

**Chapter 1**

**Love Me.**

"Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."

And he did love me. He kissed me so hard I might have bruised and he made love to me right there in the empty OR. But he didn't pick me he chose her, Satan. And I had to work everyday with them, watching pretend to be a normal couple. But even worse I had to watch them with sick secrets poisoning my heart.

It started out as one secret. The man I had forsaken knitting for was Doc's vet. The worst thing was the look on Derek's face when I came down those stairs. Seeing him think he knew what was going on was grounding and the inability to correct him was painful.

Then it turned into two secrets. Well actually the second secret was there already but it started growing.

The thing I have discovered about secrets it that eventually they all come out. My mom, Addison, the Chiefs relationship with my mom, my sister, Addison and Mark, Finn, and now this.

It was Christina who finally approached me; I guess she recognized the symptoms from her own little adventure. I tried to pass it off as the flu but lying never worked with her.

So now both my secrets are out.

I am a 29 year old surgical intern at Seattle Grace Hospital that had sex with one resident who it turns out is married to another resident, now being pregnant by the former resident and Iam dating the vet who is responsible for the dog the residents and I share.

I am so screwed.

Three Months Ago

_His heart stopped when he saw her. Standing in his new life in all her New York Metropolitan glory. Here to ruin his life again. Shattering his perfection. Time stopped as she turned to watch them. _

_"Meredith. I am so sorry."_

Derek Sheppard awoke sweating.

A woman reached out and began stroking his shoulder. "Derek, honey, you okay?" He slid away from her chilling touch.

"Yea fine." Lying back down he waited for her to do the same and for her breathing to even out. Slowly Derek pushed himself off his bed and began dressing silently. He needed to get out.

Meredith had never killed anyone before. Now she had. Forcing her way out of the room past the grieving daughter and her partner, past the gossiping triplet of elderly ladies, past the Chief, she never though it would feel like this. The pain, the guilt. She had to get out.

Ignoring the stinging behind her eyes and she rest of the world around her Meredith pushed her way into the hallway and into a random closet.

Derek sighed into his coffee. He had loved Addison at one point, he was sure of it. They had gone through Med School, Internships, and Residency together. Maybe though, maybe it was just a common love. The kind born out of conscience and too much time together. He sighed and rolled his eyes. Maybe he was just rationalizing.

As the elevator doors opened the sight presented to him was a visibly upset Meredith Grey rushing down the hall and into a storage closet. Dropping his bag at the nurse's station he went after her.

click

Meredith began brushing at her cheeks to clear any trace of tears, readying herself to spout off a good excuse when she smelt it. She hadn't been living with the guy for two months and not know his cologne. Sure enough Dr. Derek Sheppard, Brain Surgeon at Seattle Grace Hospital, walked through the door.

She began pushing up off the boxes. "Dr. Shep-"

"Derek. I'm not on duty and no one's here." And like that in three seconds he was beside her, comforting her, holding her and then she cried. Meredith Grey cried like she was taught not to, she cried for the woman who had just passed and for her own role it.

After Meredith regain some sort of control the first thing that came to her mind the proximity of McDreamy. His arms around her, his sent soaking into her pores, the warmth, comfort and familiarity of his touch.

"Dr. Sheppard. We can't be here."

"Why not?"

She smiled sadly. "You're married." She stood up and backed away. "And I won't be dirty mistress."

As she put her hand on the door knob Derek pushed himself up and cemented himself against the door, effectively pinning her. "You are not dirty or a mistress. I didn't approach you for revenge or as a fling. Meredith I fell in love with you." He bowed his head. "Just because I am giving one final go with Addison does not mean that this us is nothing. It means that I need to know that it's over with Addison. Really and truly over so neither one of us ever wants to go back." He bent his head so their lips were millimeters apart. "I love you Meredith." And he kissed her.

A Month and a Half Ago

Meredith was worshiping the porcelain god again. Third time that day. Three weeks in a row. She had no idea that a flu bug could last this long. After watching her for a moment Christina crossed the locker room and bent down next to her.

"Does the vet know?"

Meredith looked up confused. "Does the vet know what?"

Cristiana gestured to the toilet. "About this?"

Meredith wiped her mouth and sat back. "Of course. I do it at his house too. I had no idea that the flu could be this bad."

Cristina sat back. "Meredith."

The other woman looked up.

"You don't get it do you?"

"Get what?"

"It's not the flu."

"What do you mean?"

"How late are you?"

"Oh my god. No this can't be happening."

Present Day

I met him in the stairwell.

"Derek?"

"Dr. Grey."

"Derek, I need to talk to you."

"What is it Dr. Grey?"

I told him about the baby.

"Derek. I'm pregnant."

He looked shocked initially but school his features quickly. "Well your vet must be very happy."

I shook my head. "He doesn't know. It's not his." I looked at him meaningfully.

He miss understood me.

"George?" His voice is not light, playful, or teasing.

"Derek."

"The man with the invincible erection?"

"Derek!"

I turn to go. "Forget it Derek, I never should have told you anything." I do really wish I had never said anything. I shouldn't have expected anything.

"No, its fine. I'm glad I know. You can't blame me for asking though because man you really get around."  
It shocked me. I couldn't move. "What did you just say to me?"

"It's unforgivable."

I turned. "I don't remember ever asking you to forgive me!"  
He stands there so calm. "So, was the knitting a phase? Who's next? Alex? I hear he likes to sleep around too. You two have that in common. Wait now, maybe you already have. Is it his?"

That was the last straw. "_You_ don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done! All the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cares? I was done. Then _you_ left me. _You_ chose Addison. Then _you_ got me pregnant. You don't want in, fine. I'll just go back to gluing my life back together now. Forget this every happened but I will never make apologies for how I chose to repair what _you_ broke. _You_ do _not_ get to call _me_ a whore."

He stands there shocked. I can't care though. It'll kill me to care.

I'm approximately three months along which seals the deal for me because the only man I slept with three months ago was a certain neurologist. Dr. Bailey did an amino test for me followed by a DNA test. Of course it came back positive. Derek it the not so proud father of my son.

I guess I'll have to tell him. Eventually.


	4. Choose Me

**Chapter 2 **

**Choose Me **

2 Months Later

When I said I would tell him I really meant it I just.. haven't yet. Christina voted that I tell him today, I just rolled my eyes. Apparently the man who was Derek's best friend until he found him in bed with Addison showed up today. I haven't seen him yet but both Christina and Izzy are calling him McSteamy. Just perfect. At least the morning/all day sickness has worn off, a small reprieve.

Well. So much for us all being adults. I was standing at the nurses station filling out a chart on hour ago when a man approached me. He was obviously a doctor but not at all my type.

"So the guy's pretty much a goner right?"

"Sensitivity. I like that in a stranger. Are you new here?"

"Visiting. Confounded by all the rain and it's only my first day in town."

"You get used to it."

"Makes me want to stay in bed all day."

"We just met and already you're talking about bed. Not very subtle."

"Subtle's never been my strong suit. So, do you ever go out with co-workers."

I look down at my belly. "I, um, make it a habit not so."

"Than I am so glad that I don't work here."

"Are you hitting on me? In a hospital?"

"Would that be wrong?"

I hold out my hand. "Meredith."

Suddenly, before he can take my hand, Derek comes out of nowhere and slugs this man in the face. I have never seen Derek physically angry before. I push him back. "Derek, what the hell was that?"

He shook out his arm. "It's Mark. "

As he turns to go find the Chief I catch his sleeve. "We need to talk."

I can already tell this is going to be along day.

I'm helping Izzie clean and suture Mark's gash when he starts talking.

"Derek and I always had the same taste in women."

I turn from washing my hands. "Excuse me?"

Mark gets up and smiles. "You're Derek's lusty intern right? I've heard about you all the way back in New York. You're famous." He began to walk away before pausing. "You know, it's funny. Derek walks in on me naked with his wife, actually in the throes, and he just turns around and walks away. But he sees me so much as talking to you, and I'm on the ground bleeding. Interesting, don't you think." He offers a humorless chuckle before turning to leave.

I sigh. Yes it was interesting. I look up to the man who was probably the reason I ever had Derek. "I'm pregnant."

He turns around slowly and me over. "Yeah." As he left the room I slumped back against the sink. Snapping off my gloves I realized it was time to find Derek.

As soon as Mark had left the suture room he made his way to Addison's office. Knocking once on the door he let himself in. She had her back to him and was working on her computer. He watched her for a moment. She was still beautiful even he she wasn't his.

She straightened up. "Why are you here?"

He sighed. "For one reason. To bring you home." He moved forward. "I miss you Addison."

Her shoulders slumped forward as she weakly replied. "I'm in love with my husband." That was too much for Mark. He brought his fist down on the table.

He shouted. "But he's not in love with you! He's in love with that intern. And he's not even trying to hide it." Mark rubbed his temple while summoning the strength to lower his voice. "She's pregnant Addy. Why would you want to stick around for that?" With that Mark left her to make the choice.

On a mission. That's how I wandered the halls, determined to find Derek. Rounding the hallway I looked up and saw him on the over pass. Smiling at my found treasure I made my way across the nurse's station to the stairway when Addison crossed over the overpass towards Derek. She didn't look happy; in fact she looked like she'd been crying. I cringed and backed away towards to the other interns. Their conversation seemed not to being going well when Addison started yelling I turned to Christina.

"Christ, I think I know where this is going."


	5. Pick Me

**Chapter 3: Pick Me**

Secrets are a dangerous cancer. Keeping track of who knows, who doesn't know, who cant know. The burden of keeping secrets is hard but the embarrassment of having your secrets indiscriminately revealed is almost unbearable. The revealer becomes the bane of your existence, someone who lords over you. I will never see Addison Montgomery- Sheppard the same again. She completely disregarded my feelings and circumstances in favor of her own discomfort.

I was on my way to coming completely clean with Derek and offering him forgiveness, choices and having everything be over with when she stomped all over my clean plan.

Standing at the bottom of the nurses station I didn't have to tell him anything. Addison announced it to everyone while serving him divorce papers.

"I sleep with your best friend and you walk away. Then he comes here to rub it into your face and you don't loose a night's rest over it. I guess the only way to get your attention is to sleep with a vet. But oh wait, that wouldn't work either because I'm not Meredith Grey. So now's she's pregnant and you still cant leave her. I can take a hint Derek now you take these." She ended practically screaming and throwing the folder at him. I don't think I've ever been hotter. Every intern, my resident, Christina's attending, along with the chief and way to many nurses heard the details of my private life. Talk about airing dirty laundry. I did the natural thing and began to hyperventilate, only then did people begin turning away from the obscene couple.

Christina place a hand on my back as I reached for my front. "Breath Meredith." I shook my head. Addison "The Devil" Sheppard had ruined my career by taking away the respect I had worked so hard for. Izzie was in my face. "Meredith, Meredith! You need to calm down!" I whirled around, my breathing was coming back under my control but there were people everywhere. People I was going to have to work with for the next seven years.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

MERDER MERDERMERDER

When I came to Derek was there. Probably to rip me apart again, then I felt his finger drawing patterns on my palm. I cleared my throat. "Dr. Sheppard." He dropped my hand and studied my forehead.

"Meredith." He ran a hand through his hair. "You're uh, going to be fine. Your episode turns out wasn't anything serious, just a panic attack." His hand hovered over my belly for a second. "And the baby is doing great." He finally found my eyes. "Meredith. I am so sorry." I closed my remembering the last time he used those exact words.

"Derek. I can't do this. I can't pretend this doesn't matter or bother me. You hurt me. A lot. I begged you're to choose me and you didn't. I lowered myself to a humiliating place only so you could call me a whore. I can't wait for you forever, or even another day. This is your baby." I waved a hand over my stomach. "Accept it or don't but genetics is genetics." I shook my head. "But if your not 100 for me and with me I can't have you around."

He nodded slowly. "I signed the divorce papers an hour ago."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Okay then." I groaned then. Taking his hand I placed it where the baby was kicking.

Opening my eyes I saw McDreamy was there, mine, and touching our son.

* * *

**_Thank you all so much for reading! I just wanted to let you know that I will be marking this story complete even though it isnt really. I have a second story line planned but can't execute it immediately so it will be marked under a different title. I hope you all enjoy this story and wait for the sequel!_**


End file.
